So you think you can dance? No. I don’t.

*I don’t dance. I can sing if you’d like!*
This is the template I make most use of, probably did even during my growing up phase. When I say ‘make use of’ I do intend to get your attention to the present tense. I still offer to sing for people but no amount of their pleading is going to get me to dance.

Tell me there’s a wedding coming up which has a Sangeet function and you can see me get restless. It’s not something you can miss because I’m very expressive, even verbally. Why talk about someone else’s when I can tell you about my very own Sangeet experience. I was expected to perform with my husband. There was supposed to be practice sessions! Imagine my plight. I think at that moment I would have happily chosen to appear for my CA exams than to dance. I was secretly hoping I would fall and fracture a bone but that obviously didn’t happen. No one falls when they desperately wish for it! After an emotional drama with my to-be husband, he succumbed and decided to dance without me and what did I end up doing??? I sang!!

What did I do on first day at work when I was asked to do something in addition to introducing myself? I told the boss “I won’t dance. Do you want me to sing?” He agreed, I sang! This works, by the way. I adopted this strategy even at my previous work-place! God bless Celine Dion for the Titanic song because that’s the life-saver! : P

This phobia of dancing, apparently called ‘Chorophobia’ is what I suffer from (I just googled the term)! This phobia dates back to school days when I was once politely told to opt for the drama instead of dance. Basically they asked me to get lost because I couldn’t dance to save myself! Singing saved my life and gave me a reason to be proud of myself!
At school, I was in the prayer group since first grade and continued to be till the last day of school. Outside school, I attended carnatic vocal lessons, which was one of the best things that happened in my life because I met four crazy girls who made singing even more enjoyable! Honestly, we owe our Guru, ‘Paatu Mami’ as we fondly call her, a lot for putting up with us! We were brats, all of us! We would create such a commotion inside and outside class that the whole building knew the gang had arrived! We discussed school, Harry Potter and everything under the sun in the less-than-two-hour class and also managed to do some serious learning.
We earned our school quite some recognition by participating in numerous singing competitions. Again, we were lucky to be trained by a gem of a person.
So you see why dancing never found any place in my heart. Once bitten, twice shy. I didn’t dare to opt for dance, not that anybody who had the slightest dancing sense would even consider taking me!
Oh my friends and my husband love me a lot, so much that they still try to get me to shake a leg. They say I can dance. Either they need their eyes checked or maybe the definition of ‘dance’ is generous!

I still wonder what that person was thinking of when he phrased ‘have two left feet’. I mean how does that have anything to do with being unable to dance!? Sounds weird and I, being a lefty, am seriously offended. Does it have anything to do with being clumsy because if it does, I’m going to stop right here. I don’t want to embarrass myself further because I take clumsiness to a whole new level altogether!!

Please keep this article in mind and spare my life. I’ll watch and cheer as you dance! 🙂

I don’t know what inspired this article all of a sudden. Wait, I do know. It’s a carnatic song that I sang aloud under the shower! Reminded me of those good old days!
Cheers to my gang of singing girls!
P.S. I was singing the Chittaswaram of Himagiri Thanaye 😛