A letter from Amma.

Dear Son,

On this Mother’s Day, my heart is filled with an urge to express my gratitude and feelings! This day marks my third year as a MOTHER, a role that I wouldn’t ever have imagined to be such a life changer! The transformation, the promotion from Sneha to ‘Amma’ has been so fulfilling and rewarding, that now I know what I was always meant to be. A Mother. To a Son.

Okay now enough of this emotional stuff. Let’s get onto the FUN part of this letter!

– Parvati created Bappa, I created Sheldon.

In many ways, with your amazing quirks and oddities and wisdom, you are indeed a Sheldon! You hear Amma often tell you “YOU’RE SUCH A SHELDON!” and that’s courtesy of Daddy, who believes that my binge watching ‘The Big Bang Theory’ when you were in my tummy resulted in my creating our very own Sheldon!

– ‘KYUN’RIOS CAT!

Your endless need for answers has made three things clear.

1) You haven’t taken over me in the curiosity department.

2) “Amma let’s check on your phone” – These words from you, prompting me to Google up your queries, show that you’ve already realised that Amma needs more help than you do!

3) You’ll make a fine teacher and I’ll forever don the hat of a student.

– SCREEN OR SCREAM?

There was no screen time in this home till you turned 18 months and let me tell you, I was a little too haughty about my achievement…. UNTIL..

Amma succumbed to the pressure and became one of them!

Lucky for me, you did the research work yourself and found some shows on YouTube that are worth watching and I must admit that your dad and I both occasionally enjoy the same with you! Kudos to you on that one!

Your NOT watching that dreaded COCOMELON is the biggest reward you can give me and oh boy!, do you know how to use this card to manipulate Amma!!

– MY BOSS BABY!

When someone asks Amma whether I’m working, I always tell them that my son is my BOSS, my full time job. I want you to know that it’s the most rewarding and fulfilling job and I take it very seriously! Yes, somedays are hard, somedays I want to complain and cry but it’s a job to JIO for! Even in this job, it’s all about the OUTPUT. The only output that matters to me is your bowel movement. There are days when I apologise to God, for my prayers consist of piece and not peace.

– Hippo-CRITE! 

My biggest fear is that you’ll learn to say the word ‘Hypocrite’ before ‘Hippopotamus’, thanks to your Amma!

– NO screen time during meals is what I regard as success when it comes to you BUT when Amma takes her phone to the table at the end of the day it is under the pretext of ‘wanting to relax and enjoy a meal!’, and though it’s a NO-phone-at-night rule for you, it’s okay for Amma to use mine at night to check a message because ‘IT’S IMPORTANT!’

– Amma could eat chapatis and bread for the rest of her life but she goes berserk when you refuse rice or demand biscuits because apparently THAT IS THE CAUSE OF ALL YOUR LIFE PROBLEMS. 

– In general, Amma’s not gung ho about anything NEW; be it food or music or anything else! Give Amma a cake other than chocolate and you’ll see her avoid it like the plague but when you don’t ‘TRY’, Amma makes you CRY!

– TERRIBLY TERRIFIC TWOS!

A toddler in his tantrum is no different than a plane in a turbulence! About a turbulence, Google says, ‘severe turbulence causes large and abrupt changes in attitude, wherein the airplane may momentarily be out of control and the occupants will be forced violently against their seat belts.’ Very precisely defines what a tantrum looks like! ABSOLUTE MAYHEM.

You howl, I lose my cool, you yell, I scream! During this chaos, it’s funny how Amma tells YOU to calm down when at nearly 35 she can’t regulate her own emotions and expects you, a toddler, to do so! Someday, just someday, I want to navigate through a turbulence and make a smooth touchdown before you’re out of the phase!

– MERA PUTRA…. MERA VEER PUTRA!

When you made your grand entrance onto the stage on the occasion of your first annual day, Daddy had to stop Amma from coming running up to you! I was so proud to see you up there, on such a big grand stage, with the lighting and sound and all of it!

On the day of your graduation, when the teacher placed the cap on your head, Amma was so elated that she almost cried out of joy! It was like receiving my own degree! No wait, it wasn’t the same. Because I skipped my CA Convocation Ceremony. I want you to know your graduation from Play-school to Nursery meant much more to Amma than her CA. (6th attempt!)

– KAALA TEEKA!

After this blog is published, you, my dear son, be ready for the ‘Drishta Kaad’ or ‘Chutthi Podu’ ritual! No amount of Kajal I’ve smeared on the back of your ears can stop the modern lady with a traditional ideology! One single achoo or a cough from you is enough for your grandmother (my Amma!) to unleash her wrath upon me and sing, “WhatsApp pe photos na daala karo, nazar lag jayegi!”

Well in your case, you were spared from this situation, thanks to your Daddy!!

Before I make this letter a novel, let me quickly and most importantly thank you my baby. Thank you for being you. Thank you for your unlimited patience and belief in me. Thank you for the infinite number of times that you call out ‘Amma’ in a day because no music can ever beat the sound of that word!

God bless you.

Cheers!