2023 is a week away and this year I want to turn the ‘Where’d all the time go?’ analysis into an alphabetical record for a fun-filled flashback of 2022!
A – ‘Auto’matic
After ‘Amma’, the word that comes closest to being said the most number of times by my son (with the same passion and pyaar!) is ‘AUTO’. I’ve no idea what makes him love the three wheeler but that makes us wonder whether an Auto would have been a better buy than the Automatic car! The Gloster is MGnificent though and when it’s me behind the wheel, who do you think that’s getting all the attention, the Beauty or the Beast!? 😛
B – Browsing history of a new mother
There are doctors with answers to all your questions. Then there’s Dr. Google with questions to all your answers! A never-ending exercise of chasing my own tail but helps without fail! As a new mom with an unquenchable thirst for baby related information you want to feel nice knowing that there are other mothers around just like YOU; silly, clumsy and full of worry because they are NEW. That’s where Google comes in!
Some questions that I found on my search history of the year!
1) Why do babies put everything except food in their mouth?
2) What to do when your child swallows a coin?
2) Falling from what height is bad for babies?
4) Fever due to hot weather symptoms
5) Is it okay to talk in different languages with a baby?
C – Career options for 2022
- Babysitter
- Closet Organizer
- Driver
- Wild child photography
- Seawoods Grand Central Mall Tour Guide
D – Day at the Zoo
Babies’ day out! Grandma FINALLY took her Achloo to meet Oreo and Oscar in the zoo! Either we underestimate the Byculla zoo or families with kids do not have much else to do!
Review: The zoo is BIG, so that’s a lot of walking to do! The way Mumbai’s temperature is rising, you can’t blame me for wanting to swap places with the four hippos! The two bears were more like sloths but at least there were two of them unlike the lonely tiger and elephant that obviously weren’t together, but they might as well have been so! The monkeys looked focused on only two activities, eating bananas and sleeping. Now that’s life! The aviary is impressive and the penguins are cute but you can’t tell one from the other! All in all a good place to keep kiddos entertained for a day.
You know what MY kid pointed out at the zoo? Crows. “Amma, Kaakai!”
E – Enemies list
So much is the influence of Sheldon in my life that this year I decided to create my very own ‘Enemies List.’
- Bollywood’s everyone
- Neha Kakkar
- Nora Fatehi
- The guy behind Kesariya x Dil Dooba mash-up
- Raghav Himatsingka
F – Fam Jam
Our last Family trip in 2017 ended with a lost suitcase and a nearly missed flight back home from Dubai. 5 years + 2 kids later, there’s so much more entertainment and excitement that at the end of the day you’re left wishing for some ‘boring’! 😛
2022 – A train journey to the Rann of Kutch! If you ask me, the salt there has more pepper in it and for a breathtaking rising and setting of the sun, our Maharashtra can give Kutch a ‘run’ for its money!
G – Garbh Sanskar
A pregnant neighbour asked me if I had a copy of the highly acclaimed ‘Garbh Sanskar’ book. That got me thinking about the kind of ‘culturing’ that I did while Shlok was in my womb. If it means preparing and developing the foetus appropriately then PP is in trouble because the only Garbhasanskar his wife religiously followed was ‘The Big Bang Theory.’
H – Happy Birthday
I don’t remember being a planner at all. That’s my mom’s forte and a fort I never felt the need to conquer BUT what if I’m the mom this time around?
Right from picking out a theme to finalizing the venue, menu, decor and dress, I can proudly say we successfully planned and executed three birthday parties for a one year old that didn’t know, didn’t care, and didn’t like crowd, chaos and even cake! Thank you PP, Thank you Amma-Appa. Also Shloki, I can’t thank you enough! 🙂
I – Intolerant
Someone recently pointed out that I may have become ‘intolerant’ and he’s probably right too BUT it’s harmless… Until someday Bollywood turns me into a Nagavalli, NOT Manjulika.
J – July joys
Now I know why the word ‘boisterous’ has ‘bois’ in it. The surprise arrival of the Boston nephew for his little cousin’s first birthday turned this house into a circus!
K – Kodak Moments
If the photos on my phone were made into a movie, you’d find as many occasions as you would songs in a Sooraj Barjatya direction! Festivals, weddings, parties, vacations – you name it and we’ve celebrated it in the true Patil style – dress up, decorate, dance and dhamaal!
P.S. We are famous for our obsession with color/ theme co-ordination, because better late AND pretty than never 😛
L – Loss
The passing on of KK.
M – Motherhood
That phase of my life wherein I’m FINALLY beginning to empathize with my mother and realising why she did what she did. Does*
N – Nostalgia
Definitely an award winning year as far as Nostalgia was concerned. Get togethers that include a friend moving to Australia, some visiting from Canada and then there are legends that arrive all the way from Panvel and Kalyan!
O – Organize
My son knows where exactly to find me when I’m out of sight; in the closet! On most days I do nothing more than find ways to change place and make space but it’s so satisfying that I enjoy it almost as much as I do my morning coffee!
P.S. A label-maker would make an an ideal birthday gift!
P – Popcorn
I paid for Kantara and Minions to enjoy the PVR popcorn in 2022 after a hiatus of two years!
Q – Question – ‘Who’s my Five?’
‘You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with’
After Cecelia Ahern’s ‘Freckles’, I pondered over this question and I don’t know what’s more sad; the fact that I pondered for way too long or the realisation that I may not have a Five apart from my family.
P.S. I need to work on revival of my social life.
R – Reconsumption, reconsideration, rejection
Apparently there’s a positive term for all the rewatching of movies, rereading of books and revisiting of places that I do; it’s called ‘Reconsumption!’ – BUT…
Reconsideration – When your husband points out the wrong in all that you believed was right for you, you can’t unsee it, neither can you see it again. That’s when I did the ‘reconsideration.’
Rejection – Reconsideration of all the movies I had re-consumed in the past led to rejection of all Rajs, Rahuls and the romance!
S – Student of the Year
That’s me, the student of the year. I’m not the teacher material and after becoming a mother, it’s only become more apparent. I’ve realised there’s a great deal to learn from children and in all likelihood my child is going to grow up before I do. Thank God I completed my CA before his arrival 😛
T – Thank yous
Starting this year I’m going to do this one simple yet forgotten task. I want to thank everyone for their presence in my life, online and offline. Thank you for your blessings and love. Thank you Universe for making it happen.
U – Upliftment
I remember Mom telling me about the dark side of ‘Ring a ring a roses’ but turns out ‘tumble’ trouble or ‘fall’ from a cradle or a wall is a favourite factor of rhymes and if that’s what rhymes are all about then my son has set his own record of unique ways of getting hurt and I could create a personalized album of rhymes for him!
P.S. Since I’m not releasing that album soon, I highly recommend the Hamleys Mini Carvaan for kids!
V – Visa or Virus
Chances of us getting the new variant of Corona seems more likely than us getting the US visa in 2023!
W – Wardrobe Woes
No matter how much I want to do the minimalistic living, new clothes seem to find a way into my wardrobe. My Fairy GodSisterinLaw spoils me with the best but she needs to find me an occasion and occupation to transform me into a Cinderella.
P.S. When woes turned worse I turned wise.
I managed to liberate myself from the hoarding disorder by emptying my emotions and clothes with no use into two bags and dropping them off at H&M in return for a 15% discount!
X – Xerox
“Shlok is a xerox copy of his father!!!” Not what a mother likes to hear as much as she loves the father! I shamelessly try to convince everyone otherwise to an extent that someday I may just broadcast a collage of our photos highlighting the similarities! 😛 #desperatemom
Y – YardStick
If I were to tie up the ends of all the sarees I own to make a chain, it would equal the distance from Panvel to Chembur! If only I could tilt the world to its side, that would make me a better and wiser Rapunzel! #ecofriendlytravel
Z – Zepto
Thanks to the Amazon – Future Retail – Reliance saga, I’m planning to start my own Zepto business in 2023 given my impressive collection of the Zepto bags, many of which cost me Rs.7 apiece!
See you in 2023 🙂
Cheers.
C.A.: Confused Aquarian 